7 Ways to Start a Story...

Storytelling in business has really taken off in the last few years, but whilst we may understand the need to tell a story knowing how to start it can sometimes be a bit trickier. So here are a few tips on ways to start a story:

1.       Imagine…

Probably one of the most evocative ways to get someone’s attention is to get their imagination working.  Imagine... works really well if you want to tell a “visionary” story, taking people to a place that perhaps they haven’t explored before. And depending on the follow up words you can take them to a wide variety of places and times. Imagine if… Imagine when… And then to make the story really powerful you need to show the audience the link between their leap of imagination and the reality of where they are now. So for example, imagine there was a new fuel to run cars on – and then show them a picture of a prototype and a path to take it from now to the future.

2.       I remember when…

This opening invites the audience to look at where they have come from and how much has changed (hopefully for the better). This a great way to remind people of the obstacles that they have already overcome and the put things into perspective. Sometimes people need reminding that they are making progress.

3.       I was walking down the street the other day…

You were in the middle of doing something ordinary when something extraordinary happened. It happens to people all the time, they are getting on with their lives when something happens that changes, interrupts and generally makes an impact. This can be a great starter for a story which is about a journey or about getting from where you are and going to where you want to be.

4.       It is a universal truth…

Starting with a provocative or unusual statement which makes the listener stops and think. They may or may not agree with your statement, but either way they will be tuned in to what you say next.

5.       Life is like a box of chocolates…

Here we have both a quote and a metaphor. Quotes are great (but don’t over use them). Metaphors are a way of getting people to think sideways and open up their thinking to the story you are going to tell them. They can help provide some distance between the same old thinking and a new approach.

6.       I get really mad when…

This starts with an emotion – an emotion you would like to draw your audience into. This is an invitation to get mad, to get excited, to get involved. It draws people in to what you are about to say next, particularly when delivered with passion.

7.       We are at the beginning of the end…

Paradoxes, where a statement seemingly contradicts itself are a way to show how two different contradictory thoughts can be held at the same time. In doing so they help change perspective and help open up our minds to alternative options.

The start of a story does not have to be “Once upon a time...” There are lots of alternatives. How does your story start?

See also Using stories in business (part 1)

A Good Listener is Like a Good Dancer

Remember Aunty Rose who doesn’t stop talking? Or Uncle Jack who loves to tell funny stories? How many times have you heard the story about….?

A Good Listener is Like a Good Dancer

A good dancer works with their partner, making the moves seem seamless. It is a skill that takes time to develop as anyone who has watched Strictly Come Dancing will know.

Active listening is also skill which takes time and effort to develop. It is not passive and takes commitment from the listener. Active listing shows that you value what the other person has to say and can encourage other people to talk.

Active listeners have freed their minds and made a commitment to absorb what the other person has to say so that they can respond appropriately. They do not make assumptions about what the other person is going to say – and therefore allow them to finish their sentence.

Active listeners:

·         Show interest

·         Request information

·         Obtain understanding

Here are the five rules to active listening

·         Pay attention.

o    Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Recognize that what is not said also speaks loudly.

o    Look at the speaker directly.

o    Put aside distracting thoughts. Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal!

o    Avoid being distracted by environmental factors.

o    “Listen” to the speaker’s body language.

o    Refrain from side conversations when listening in a group setting.

·         Show that you are listening.

o    Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

o    Nod occasionally.

o    Smile and use other facial expressions.

o    Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.

o    Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

·         Provide feedback.

o    Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

o    Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…” are great ways to reflect back.

o    Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say…” “Is this what you mean?”

o    Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.

·         Defer judgment.

o    Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

o    Allow the speaker to finish.

o    Don’t interrupt with counter arguments.

·         Respond Appropriately.

o    Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

o    Be candid, open, and honest in your response.

o    Assert your opinions respectfully.

o    Treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated.

Active listening is just one aspect of good communication skills. The more you practice the better you will get at it.

Three Sources of Conflict

In my experience working with organisations there are three factors behind most organisational conflicts:

1. Differences in behaviour and communication styles

2. Differences in priorities and values

3. Workplace conditions, including poor communications from leaders

Some personalities just seem to clash. It's important to determine why two people rub each other the wrong way. Do they have opposing behavioural styles?

For example, an extrovert who is open and expressive could view an introvert as hard to read and perhaps untrustworthy. Likewise, a time-conscious, highly organised employee may harshly judge a spontaneous colleague. Someone who is highly analytical and precise might view an intuitive person as impulsive and flaky.

Teaching team members to understand basic human differences can help them overcome tendencies to judge and make assumptions. They can learn to accept coworkers’ differences. Consider using any of the commonly accepted assessment tools, such as PRISM or Belbin.

Workshops provide another option. An extrovert can learn to ask questions to draw out an introvert. The highly organized team member can learn to set more realistic deadlines.

Understanding personality differences can help prevent clashes and conflicts before they become ongoing problems.

I offer several options for learning about personalities in the workplace to help deal with differences and conflicts.

Expectations and Assumptions

People have different needs, values, beliefs, assumptions and cultural frameworks. Our expectations are fed by past experiences. If you erroneously assume that others are essentially mirror images, your lack of clarity can create strife.

Leaders and teams must explore others’ expectations, assumptions, underlying values and priorities. This can be accomplished in group or individual sessions, led by a manager or coach.

When there is an elevated degree of conflict, it's wise to retain a professional who is trained in interpersonal skills and mediation.

Behind every complaint is an underlying value that goes unsatisfied. Asking questions like “What’s really important here?” often allows people to uncover competing values and priorities. You will facilitate more authentic conversations when you ask the right questions.

What do you think about these ideas? What do you see as a major source of conflict in your organisation?

7 Ways to Say Something Difficult

Have you got something difficult to say?  Check out this Prezi which will give you a few ideas about how to approach it.




Find out more in the A Useful Guide to Resolving Conflict

Using Stories in Business (Part 1)

Using Stories in Business

I recently watched a comedian strutting his stuff on stage and was struck by his ability to tell a simple story and have the audience respond with gales of laughter. What was it he was doing that was so successful? After all he was only telling a story about buying Christmas presents with his wife. The trials and tribulations, the misunderstandings, the ultimate denouement and the punchline. The story itself was very simple and ordinary but what he was doing was very clever. He was tapping into other people's perceptions and experiences and turning them on their head. Like most great comedy, it was taking the ordinary, making it extraordinary and evoking emotion along the way.

For centuries we have used stories to pass on information. But in much of modern business life we have forgotten how to use them effectively. This is particularly true when it comes to presentations. We all know that there are millions of presentations made every day, the majority of them less than riveting. So what can you do to stand out from the crowd and make you presentations really memorable?

 Stories Stick

But why are stories so powerful? The impact of stories lies in the fact that they provoke emotion which is known to be a major influencer in maintaining interest and memory retention.

The brain processes meaning before detail. So starting your presentation with a story so that people get the gist of what you are going to say and then going into the detail improves both concentration and understanding.

It provides a series of hooks on which to hang further explanation. So you can refer back to the story and say "so when the comedian said....the audience rocked with laughter!"

By adding relevant stories at suitable intervals throughout the presentation it is possible to introduce new ideas and spark new interest and re-engage through emotion at a point when the attention might be flagging.

So next time you create a presentation, try starting with a relevant story. It doesn't have to be funny unless you are confident that you can make people laugh. If you can't immediately think of one, pinch a story line from somewhere else such as a movie or a fairy tale. Just make sure you create a relevant link.

Want to find out more about creating stories for presentations or training? We provide story telling coaching to help you find your own stories.  

Top 10: Ways to Lead by Example

Good leaders must lead by example. Through their actions, which are aligned with what they say, they become a person others want to follow. When leaders say one thing but do another, they erode trust, a critical element of productive leadership. Here are 10 of the dozens of ways to lead by example.

1. Take responsibility. Blame costs you your credibility, keeps team members on the defensive and ultimately sabotages real growth.

2. Be truthful. Inaccurate representation affects everyone. Show that honesty really IS the best policy.

3. Be courageous. Walk through fire (a crisis) first. Take calculated risks that demonstrate commitment to a larger purpose.

4. Acknowledge failure. It makes it OK for your team to do the same and defines failure as part of the process of becoming extraordinary.

5. Be persistent. Try, try again. Go over, under or around any hurdles to show that obstacles don’t define your company or team.

6. Create solutions. Don’t dwell on problems; instead be the first to offer solutions and then ask your team for more.

7. Listen. Ask questions. Seek to understand. You’ll receive valuable insights and set a tone that encourages healthy dialogue.

 
8. Delegate liberally. Encourage an atmosphere in which people can focus on their core strengths.

9. Take care of yourself. Exercise, don’t overwork, take a break. A balanced team, mentally and physically, is a successful team. Model it, encourage it, support it! 

10. Roll up your sleeves. Like Alexander the Great leading his men into battle, you’ll inspire greatness in your company.

 Find out more about how to lead your team and deal with difficult behaviour. Visit Dealing with Difficult Behaviour

Ever wondered what a Johari window was?

The Johari window is named after Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. It is a model of human interaction, leadership and influence and how and what we choose to reveal about ourselves.

Check out the video.

7 Ways to Deal with Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people is about staying in control of yourself, of the situation and the conversation. Sometimes you have to brave it out. This doesn’t mean fighting back but it may mean waiting until they have vent their spleen. Here are a few ideas on how you can deal with difficult people.

Listen – people like to talk about themselves so let them have their say. By listening you are creating an opportunity for that person to release pent up feelings. The trick is to know when to say stop, now I have listened and it is time to move on.

Build empathy – empathy is about being able to respect each others different points of view. You have opened up the communications channels. You do not have to sympathise with someone to build understanding about someone else’s position.

Build rapport – by listening you have started the process. It enables you to find the points of connection and build on those to create a good working relationship.

Be patient – difficult people are not always the loud ones. Sometimes quiet people can be just as difficult to deal with. They may come across as shy, sullen, uncommunicative etc. Give them the opportunity to overcome their reluctance to communicate in a non-threatening environment.

Stay in adult – if someone is acting in a childish way, don’t react by becoming childish as well. Stay in adult mode and wait for them to catch you up. Remember how frustrating toddlers are to deal with. Give them some space to work things out for themselves.

Bring them back to the point – the difficulty may be someone who likes to talk too much. Each time they go off the subject bring them gently but firmly back to the matter in hand.

Watch your language – you can’t always understand someone else’s feeling, but you can accept that they have the right to have them. Avoid “I understand how you feel…” and substitute “I understand that you are feeling…” Always comment on the behaviour not the person.

Give Yourself a New Job Title

How much does your job title define your job? How much does it determine your approach to your job? How does it affect other people's approach to you? The name of your job very often tries to describe what you do. so on that premise if you want to do something different, or want your staff to, then change the name!

Imagine you had a new job title. Not any old title but one that would make a difference - to you and your team. Take for example Director of Making a Difference. What is the difference that you would make? It could be a different way of getting things done, or it might be making the difference to your customers.

What about Head of Momentum? Where might you find momentum in your organisation? How would you go about creating it?

Here are a few more different job tiles you could use:

Company Journey Planner
Director of Money Matters
Head of Executions
Company Team Tracker

Changing the name of your job may change the way you view it and where you place the emphasis - so go on give your job a new name!

Making Heros

Ways to Make Heroes


We all need a hero from time to time - but we can also make people into heros - here's how!


1. Whether they are officially rewarded or not, say thank you to employees who have achieved their targets.
2. Thank people for their suggestions whether you use them or not. Thank them for their concern.
3. Take your boss to lunch in appreciation for their help on a project or piece of work.
4. Keep an innovation book for good ideas and recognise those that get adopted.
5. Create symbol’s of a teams work or efforts (T-shirts or coffee mugs with motto or logo)
6. Reward those who are not normally in the limelight for doing their job well.
7. Support staff in their continuing professional development. Encourage them to learn.
8. When discussing an idea with your boss that has come from an employee, make sure they get the recognition.
9. Create group level awards to recognise teamwork.
10. Provide a donation in the name of an employee to a charity of their choice
11. Create an ongoing recognition award named after a particularly outstanding employee.
12. Create a company Oscar ceremony to recognise outstanding performance.

Make heros in your team to inspire and motivate.

Top Tips for Middle Managers

Top Tips for Middle Managers

Based on ‘Managing in the Middle’ by Barry Oshry, which can be found at www.executiveforum.com

Even in today’s world of flatter, leaner organisations, most organisations continue to have three levels of hierarchy. At the top there are the people who shape and give direction to the entire organisation. At the bottom are the workers, who manufacture the business’s products or render its services. Between them are those in the middle, often torn between meeting the demands of those at the top and responding to the needs and concerns of the workers they are expected to manage. The middle can be a confusing and ambiguous place, yet it is potentially a point of powerful influence, both upwards and downwards.

Some Top Tips for Middles

Resist the urge to make other people’s problems, issues and conflicts your own. Your job is to coach and empower them to resolve their issues, not take responsibility for them

Keep your own mind. Pay attention to your point of view, your values, your solutions. This will maximise your personal contribution to collective problem solving.

Be a Top whenever you can. If you can resolve a problem without passing it up to the Top, then do it. Tops only need to be involved with problems that are unsolvable at the Middle level.

Be a Worker when you should. If your team is short-staffed or has a sudden influx of work, then help them out with it. But remember, this should only be a short term solution. If it becomes long term then you need to re-focus on the systemic problems which are causing it.

Facilitate solutions by bringing together the people who need to be together, and helping them to have productive interactions. This is more effective than trying to act as a buffer between them.

Integrate with other Middles. Strong, interactive relationships with your peers will enable you to make a strong collective contribution and reduce your feelings of isolation.


To see the full version of this article visit http://www.satc.org.uk/62/managing-in-the-middle/